Surprise Your Love

by: Rick Valens
Has dating unknowingly become just a habit to you? Becoming not as fun and exciting as before, as when the both of you just started going out together? Well, I am not suggesting that there is any problem in your relationship. In fact this is something very common. Along time, as a couple get to know and understand each other better, they naturally enter into a comfort zone with one another.

It is within this comfort zone that they begin to share with one another more of their own personal life, building a mutual trust and a stronger bond in the relationship. However, it is also at this time when all the surprises and excitements somehow get lesser and lesser during their dates. Both have got so comfortable with one another that there is basically not the need for them to impress one another as during their initial dates anymore. Sadly, dating has become more of like a routine and habit to them.

To most guys routine dates are actually ok but again, things might not usually be the case for the girls. Hmm… maybe before I go on, just a piece of advice for the guys. Well guys, though the girls might not be complaining but believe me, deep down inside them they are still longing for that surprises. Let us not disappoint them, shall we? And well girls, please do understand that guys are afterall still guys. They are just naturally less insensitive creature, just not that good in expressing themselves. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you? Well nevertheless, I believe everyone love surprises and excitement.

Life would be so boring without them, don’t you agree? There would be nothing to look forward to. The same goes for love. Recall all those sweet moments you had when the both of you just started dating. Wasn’t love or perhaps life so fun and exciting then; always looking forward to the next date, wondering what surprises would be there for you? Using a little imagination; planning little surprises for your love would definitely spice up your love life, going a long way in maintaining the flames of love.

I am sure you want an interesting love life, always making your love happy? Remember, when your love is happy, happy you will be. Hmm… Perhaps a monthly anniversary celebration for a start? A day in each month which both could look forward to an exciting and romantic night together? Oh isn’t that lovely? Think about it.

Rick Valens Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com/, Love Relationship Discussion ForumCurrently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org/, Monument of Eternal Memory

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Sensations Of A Kiss

by: Marc Lindsay
Despite the relative tastelessness of kisses, they are usually referred to as sweet. Tasting of wine, strawberries and honey are some of the most common descriptions of lover’s kisses, although some poets are more creative. For example, The Song of Songs says, "Thy lips drip as the honeycomb, my spouse:
Honey and milk are under thy tongue."

The feeling of a kiss is also described in a multitude of ways, The pounding of the heart, quivering of the limbs, pain in the chest and quickening of the breath are some examples of this. The Persian poet Ha-fez, writes that he fears he will “char her delicate lips” when he writes of kissing his beloved.

The Spirit Within a Kiss

"At what else does that touching of lips aim but at a junction of souls?"

Favorinus of Arles

The Babylonian goddess of love, Ishtar, was said to hold life in her mouth, offering spiritual delight to those who worshipped her. “That rarest gift, the honeyed kiss of love/ On earth, is sweeter bliss than gods enjoy,” she tells one of her followers.

Another example of the use of kisses as an exchange of life force or spirit is in the Egyptian legend of Osiris and Isis. When Osiris’ jealous brother, Set, threw him into the Nile, his wife Isis searched for his body in the river and breathed life into him through a kiss.

The Renaissance saw a rapid rise in the view of kissing as an exchange of souls, and as an offering of the self to the other person. Allusions to kissing in poetry included an eternal kiss, a swoon that carried the couple almost to death, and most importantly, the diffusion of one soul into the body of the other.

Perhaps one of the most potent notions of kissing revolves around the belief in its life force and vitality. The Romans particularly believed that kissing a dying lover would keep the spirit in the body longer. Ovid, particularly, mourns that his wife will not be able to extend his life with her love because of his exile. Kisses could even follow the dead into the Underworld as a comfort to the shades of the dead.

About The Author: If you are looking for romantic getaways or romantic ideas then http://www.intelligentromance.com/ will make being romantic easy

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Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?

by: Margaret Paul
Megan asked the following questions in one of our phone sessions: "Over and over, when I'm really attracted to a man and I sleep with him fairly early in the relationship, I discover that he is not good husband material. What am I doing wrong? Am I just attracted to the wrong kind of men?"

This is a frequent question from my single women clients.

"Megan, many men know how to project sexual energy in a way that arouses women. These men define their worth by their sexuality and by their ability to attract woman. They know just how to sexually ignite a woman - it's an energy that they are putting out that goes right into your genitals and makes you think that something real and important is happening. But they are operating from a sexual addiction rather than from caring or intimacy."

"So what should I be doing when I feel that powerful sexual attraction?"

"You need to be telling yourself that this feeling doesn't mean anything – that it's just an energy that is being projected onto you but has nothing to do with love, intimacy, caring, or marriage. Real, long-lasting relationships take time to evolve. If you feel sexual upon first meeting someone, there is a good possibility that this man just wants a sexual encounter with you rather than a real relationship with you. My suggestion to you is to not have sex early in a relationship, even if you are very attracted."

"Well, when do you have sex?"

"When you feel emotionally intimate. When you trust each other and really care about each other's wellbeing. When you know that the feelings are not just sexual, and that the sexuality is coming from the emotional intimacy rather than from a sexual addiction. Why not wait until there is a commitment to the relationship and to learning and growing with each other? How often have you slept with a man that you were really attracted to and then had the relationship
not work out?"

"More often than I'm willing to admit. This is what keeps happening. So are you saying that I should also go out with men that I'm not immediately attracted to?"

"Yes, if you like them. Often, sexual attraction grows as you really get to know a person. Many of my clients with the best relationships are people who were not immediately attracted to each other. The attraction grew as they fell in love with each other. Others, who were attracted imediately, lost their attraction as they got to know the person.

"Many men can have sex and then just move on without any inner turmoil. Yet many women feel connected to a man when they have sex with him and then feel awful when the relationship doesn't work out. It is unloving to yourself to sleep with a man early in the relationship and then run the risk of being dumped because all he wanted was sex.

"Another factor is that sex without emotional intimacy is often disappointing for both people. When you have sex too early in a relationship, it might not be emotionally or physically satisfying. When sex is not an expression of love, it often feels empty, and then the guy might decide that you are not the right person for him because there were no fireworks. Yet if you had waited for love to develop, it might have been wonderful. You really have nothing to lose by waiting."

"But," replied Megan, "I always think that a man won't like me if I don't have sex with him."

"Well, if you doesn't like you for not having sex with him, what does this tell you about him?"

"I guess it tells me that he is not good husband material."

"Right! So you have nothing to lose by not having sex right away."

"Okay, I see that now. I see that what I've been doing is never going to lead to marriage. I'm going to put sex on the back burner and pay more attention to caring and intimacy."

Megan completely changed her pattern with men and within a year she was engaged to be married.

About The Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.

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The Natural Roots of Sexuality

by: Sam Vaknin
Recent studies in animal sexuality serve to dispel two common myths: that sex is exclusively about reproduction and that homosexuality is an unnatural sexual preference. It now appears that sex is also about recreation as it frequently occurs out of the mating season. And same-sex copulation and bonding are common in hundreds of species, from bonobo apes to gulls.

Moreover, homosexual couples in the Animal Kingdom are prone to behaviors commonly - and erroneously - attributed only to heterosexuals. The New York Times reported in its February 7, 2004 issue about a couple of gay penguins who are desperately and recurrently seeking to incubate eggs together.

In the same article ("Love that Dare not Squeak its Name"), Bruce Bagemihl, author of the groundbreaking "Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity", defines homosexuality as "any of these behaviors between members of the same sex: long- term bonding, sexual contact, courtship displays or the rearing of young."

Still, that a certain behavior occurs in nature (is "natural") does not render it moral. Infanticide, patricide, suicide, gender bias, and substance abuse - are all to be found in various animal species. It is futile to argue for homosexuality or against it based on zoological observations. Ethics is about surpassing nature - not about emulating it.

The more perplexing question remains: what are the evolutionary and biological advantages of recreational sex and homosexuality? Surely, both entail the waste of scarce resources.

Convoluted explanations, such as the one proffered by Marlene Zuk (homosexuals contribute to the gene pool by nurturing and raising young relatives) defy common sense, experience, and the calculus of evolution. There are no field studies that show conclusively or even indicate that homosexuals tend to raise and nurture their younger relatives more that straights do.

Moreover, the arithmetic of genetics would rule out such a stratagem. If the aim of life is to pass on one's genes from one generation to the next, the homosexual would have been far better off raising his own children (who carry forward half his DNA) - rather than his nephew or niece (with whom he shares merely one quarter of his genetic material.) What is more, though genetically-predisposed, homosexuality may be partly acquired, the outcome of environment and nurture, rather than nature.

An oft-overlooked fact is that recreational sex and homosexuality have one thing in common: they do not lead to reproduction. Homosexuality may, therefore, be a form of pleasurable sexual play. It may also enhance same-sex bonding and train the young to form cohesive, purposeful groups (the army and the boarding school come to mind).

Furthermore, homosexuality amounts to the culling of 10-15% of the gene pool in each generation. The genetic material of the homosexual is not propagated and is effectively excluded from the big roulette of life. Growers - of anything from cereals to cattle - similarly use random culling to improve their stock. As mathematical models show, such repeated mass removal of DNA from the common brew seems to optimize the species and increase its resilience and efficiency.

It is ironic to realize that homosexuality and other forms of non- reproductive, pleasure-seeking sex may be key evolutionary mechanisms and integral drivers of population dynamics.
Reproduction is but one goal among many, equally important, end results. Heterosexuality is but one strategy among a few optimal solutions. Studying biology may yet lead to greater tolerance for the vast repertory of human sexual foibles, preferences, and predilections. Back to nature, in this case, may be forward to civilization.

Suggested Literature

Bagemihl, Bruce - "Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity" - St. Martin's Press, 1999
De-Waal, Frans and Lanting, Frans - "Bonobo: The Forgotten Ape" - University of California Press, 1997
De Waal, Frans - "Bonobo Sex and Society" - March 1995 issue of Scientific American, pp. 82-88
Trivers, Robert - Natural Selection and Social Theory: Selected
Papers - Oxford University Press, 2002
Zuk, Marlene - "Sexual Selections: What We Can and Can't Learn About
Sex From Animals" - University of California Press, 2002
AUTHOR BIO Sam Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com/ ) is the author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, Bellaonline, and eBookWeb, a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent, and the editor of mental health Suite101. Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government of Macedonia.

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What is the Best Position for Making Love?

by: Caterina Christakos
Ever wondered which is the most sexual and feminine sexual position?

Well, the award undoubtedly goes to the missionary position! Yes, that old andboring man on top that can bring more satisfaction than you could imagine. No acrobatic positions, no pain and struggle, just complete focus on the pleasure sex should bring to both the partners.

This position is both feminine and erotic.

It offers the perfect environment for a woman to feel loved,taken care of and close to you at the same time. The missionary position is also the most comforting to finish for the woman and, with a little communication, for the man as well.If you're still not convinced maybe you should fine-tune it alittle bit.

A couple of hard pillows under her hips and the difference will make her moan with pleasure.

You can gently spread her legs or just suggest her she should wrap them around your waist.

Put one or both over your shoulders and you'll get the effect of a turbo engine.

With some training and patience this position will soon becomenumber one. And all of this because it is perhaps the most adaptable one. Everybody canfeel great while making love in the missionary position.

Many women find it easier to have an orgasm in this position because they are more relaxed and don't have to think about their performance as in other positions. All they have to do is close their eyes, sit back and relax while the orgasm slowly surrounds them.

This position can give the woman plenty of clitoral stimulation if the man leans forward thus rubbing his pelvic bone against her clitoris. It also allows the manual stimulation of her clitoris. The missionary position is just great for those who love intimacy during sex as they can remain face to face while making love and enjoy each other as they reach orgasm to the full. The man can kiss and caress the woman, touch her breasts and abdomen while she can touch and rub his head, shoulders, back, and butt.

If at any time during sex in the missionary position you need tomake a little change, you can always roll around and shift into a different one without too much trouble. All of this adds variety to a position many consider to dull to bring pleasure.

All in all, the missionary position feels so natural and erotic that it could never become obsolete.
Want to learn even more awesome positions to drive both her and you wild?

About The Author: Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. Learn how to seduce women now. Go to: http://www.what-women-want.com/

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