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Woman I know you understand The little child inside of the man, Please remember my life is in your hands And woman hold me close to your heart, However distant don't keep us apart, After all it is written in the stars...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sensations Of A Kiss

by: Marc Lindsay
Despite the relative tastelessness of kisses, they are usually referred to as sweet. Tasting of wine, strawberries and honey are some of the most common descriptions of lover’s kisses, although some poets are more creative. For example, The Song of Songs says, "Thy lips drip as the honeycomb, my spouse:
Honey and milk are under thy tongue."


The feeling of a kiss is also described in a multitude of ways, The pounding of the heart, quivering of the limbs, pain in the chest and quickening of the breath are some examples of this. The Persian poet Ha-fez, writes that he fears he will “char her delicate lips” when he writes of kissing his beloved.


The Spirit Within a Kiss

"At what else does that touching of lips aim but at a junction of souls?"


Favorinus of Arles


The Babylonian goddess of love, Ishtar, was said to hold life in her mouth, offering spiritual delight to those who worshipped her. “That rarest gift, the honeyed kiss of love/ On earth, is sweeter bliss than gods enjoy,” she tells one of her followers.


Another example of the use of kisses as an exchange of life force or spirit is in the Egyptian legend of Osiris and Isis. When Osiris’ jealous brother, Set, threw him into the Nile, his wife Isis searched for his body in the river and breathed life into him through a kiss.


The Renaissance saw a rapid rise in the view of kissing as an exchange of souls, and as an offering of the self to the other person. Allusions to kissing in poetry included an eternal kiss, a swoon that carried the couple almost to death, and most importantly, the diffusion of one soul into the body of the other.


Perhaps one of the most potent notions of kissing revolves around the belief in its life force and vitality. The Romans particularly believed that kissing a dying lover would keep the spirit in the body longer. Ovid, particularly, mourns that his wife will not be able to extend his life with her love because of his exile. Kisses could even follow the dead into the Underworld as a comfort to the shades of the dead.


About The Author: If you are looking for romantic getaways or romantic ideas then http://www.intelligentromance.com/ will make being romantic easy

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Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?

by: Margaret Paul
Megan asked the following questions in one of our phone sessions: "Over and over, when I'm really attracted to a man and I sleep with him fairly early in the relationship, I discover that he is not good husband material. What am I doing wrong? Am I just attracted to the wrong kind of men?"

This is a frequent question from my single women clients.

"Megan, many men know how to project sexual energy in a way that arouses women. These men define their worth by their sexuality and by their ability to attract woman. They know just how to sexually ignite a woman - it's an energy that they are putting out that goes right into your genitals and makes you think that something real and important is happening. But they are operating from a sexual addiction rather than from caring or intimacy."

"So what should I be doing when I feel that powerful sexual attraction?"

"You need to be telling yourself that this feeling doesn't mean anything – that it's just an energy that is being projected onto you but has nothing to do with love, intimacy, caring, or marriage. Real, long-lasting relationships take time to evolve. If you feel sexual upon first meeting someone, there is a good possibility that this man just wants a sexual encounter with you rather than a real relationship with you. My suggestion to you is to not have sex early in a relationship, even if you are very attracted."

"Well, when do you have sex?"

"When you feel emotionally intimate. When you trust each other and really care about each other's wellbeing. When you know that the feelings are not just sexual, and that the sexuality is coming from the emotional intimacy rather than from a sexual addiction. Why not wait until there is a commitment to the relationship and to learning and growing with each other? How often have you slept with a man that you were really attracted to and then had the relationship
not work out?"

"More often than I'm willing to admit. This is what keeps happening. So are you saying that I should also go out with men that I'm not immediately attracted to?"

"Yes, if you like them. Often, sexual attraction grows as you really get to know a person. Many of my clients with the best relationships are people who were not immediately attracted to each other. The attraction grew as they fell in love with each other. Others, who were attracted imediately, lost their attraction as they got to know the person.

"Many men can have sex and then just move on without any inner turmoil. Yet many women feel connected to a man when they have sex with him and then feel awful when the relationship doesn't work out. It is unloving to yourself to sleep with a man early in the relationship and then run the risk of being dumped because all he wanted was sex.

"Another factor is that sex without emotional intimacy is often disappointing for both people. When you have sex too early in a relationship, it might not be emotionally or physically satisfying. When sex is not an expression of love, it often feels empty, and then the guy might decide that you are not the right person for him because there were no fireworks. Yet if you had waited for love to develop, it might have been wonderful. You really have nothing to lose by waiting."

"But," replied Megan, "I always think that a man won't like me if I don't have sex with him."

"Well, if you doesn't like you for not having sex with him, what does this tell you about him?"

"I guess it tells me that he is not good husband material."

"Right! So you have nothing to lose by not having sex right away."

"Okay, I see that now. I see that what I've been doing is never going to lead to marriage. I'm going to put sex on the back burner and pay more attention to caring and intimacy."

Megan completely changed her pattern with men and within a year she was engaged to be married.

About The Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.

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The Natural Roots of Sexuality

by: Sam Vaknin
Recent studies in animal sexuality serve to dispel two common myths: that sex is exclusively about reproduction and that homosexuality is an unnatural sexual preference. It now appears that sex is also about recreation as it frequently occurs out of the mating season. And same-sex copulation and bonding are common in hundreds of species, from bonobo apes to gulls.

Moreover, homosexual couples in the Animal Kingdom are prone to behaviors commonly - and erroneously - attributed only to heterosexuals. The New York Times reported in its February 7, 2004 issue about a couple of gay penguins who are desperately and recurrently seeking to incubate eggs together.

In the same article ("Love that Dare not Squeak its Name"), Bruce Bagemihl, author of the groundbreaking "Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity", defines homosexuality as "any of these behaviors between members of the same sex: long- term bonding, sexual contact, courtship displays or the rearing of young."

Still, that a certain behavior occurs in nature (is "natural") does not render it moral. Infanticide, patricide, suicide, gender bias, and substance abuse - are all to be found in various animal species. It is futile to argue for homosexuality or against it based on zoological observations. Ethics is about surpassing nature - not about emulating it.

The more perplexing question remains: what are the evolutionary and biological advantages of recreational sex and homosexuality? Surely, both entail the waste of scarce resources.

Convoluted explanations, such as the one proffered by Marlene Zuk (homosexuals contribute to the gene pool by nurturing and raising young relatives) defy common sense, experience, and the calculus of evolution. There are no field studies that show conclusively or even indicate that homosexuals tend to raise and nurture their younger relatives more that straights do.

Moreover, the arithmetic of genetics would rule out such a stratagem. If the aim of life is to pass on one's genes from one generation to the next, the homosexual would have been far better off raising his own children (who carry forward half his DNA) - rather than his nephew or niece (with whom he shares merely one quarter of his genetic material.) What is more, though genetically-predisposed, homosexuality may be partly acquired, the outcome of environment and nurture, rather than nature.

An oft-overlooked fact is that recreational sex and homosexuality have one thing in common: they do not lead to reproduction. Homosexuality may, therefore, be a form of pleasurable sexual play. It may also enhance same-sex bonding and train the young to form cohesive, purposeful groups (the army and the boarding school come to mind).

Furthermore, homosexuality amounts to the culling of 10-15% of the gene pool in each generation. The genetic material of the homosexual is not propagated and is effectively excluded from the big roulette of life. Growers - of anything from cereals to cattle - similarly use random culling to improve their stock. As mathematical models show, such repeated mass removal of DNA from the common brew seems to optimize the species and increase its resilience and efficiency.

It is ironic to realize that homosexuality and other forms of non- reproductive, pleasure-seeking sex may be key evolutionary mechanisms and integral drivers of population dynamics.
Reproduction is but one goal among many, equally important, end results. Heterosexuality is but one strategy among a few optimal solutions. Studying biology may yet lead to greater tolerance for the vast repertory of human sexual foibles, preferences, and predilections. Back to nature, in this case, may be forward to civilization.

Suggested Literature

Bagemihl, Bruce - "Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity" - St. Martin's Press, 1999
De-Waal, Frans and Lanting, Frans - "Bonobo: The Forgotten Ape" - University of California Press, 1997
De Waal, Frans - "Bonobo Sex and Society" - March 1995 issue of Scientific American, pp. 82-88
Trivers, Robert - Natural Selection and Social Theory: Selected
Papers - Oxford University Press, 2002
Zuk, Marlene - "Sexual Selections: What We Can and Can't Learn About
Sex From Animals" - University of California Press, 2002
AUTHOR BIO Sam Vaknin (
http://samvak.tripod.com/ ) is the author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, Bellaonline, and eBookWeb, a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent, and the editor of mental health Suite101. Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government of Macedonia.

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What is the Best Position for Making Love?

by: Caterina Christakos
Ever wondered which is the most sexual and feminine sexual position?

Well, the award undoubtedly goes to the missionary position! Yes, that old andboring man on top that can bring more satisfaction than you could imagine. No acrobatic positions, no pain and struggle, just complete focus on the pleasure sex should bring to both the partners.

This position is both feminine and erotic.

It offers the perfect environment for a woman to feel loved,taken care of and close to you at the same time. The missionary position is also the most comforting to finish for the woman and, with a little communication, for the man as well.If you're still not convinced maybe you should fine-tune it alittle bit.

A couple of hard pillows under her hips and the difference will make her moan with pleasure.

You can gently spread her legs or just suggest her she should wrap them around your waist.

Put one or both over your shoulders and you'll get the effect of a turbo engine.

With some training and patience this position will soon becomenumber one. And all of this because it is perhaps the most adaptable one. Everybody canfeel great while making love in the missionary position.

Many women find it easier to have an orgasm in this position because they are more relaxed and don't have to think about their performance as in other positions. All they have to do is close their eyes, sit back and relax while the orgasm slowly surrounds them.

This position can give the woman plenty of clitoral stimulation if the man leans forward thus rubbing his pelvic bone against her clitoris. It also allows the manual stimulation of her clitoris. The missionary position is just great for those who love intimacy during sex as they can remain face to face while making love and enjoy each other as they reach orgasm to the full. The man can kiss and caress the woman, touch her breasts and abdomen while she can touch and rub his head, shoulders, back, and butt.

If at any time during sex in the missionary position you need tomake a little change, you can always roll around and shift into a different one without too much trouble. All of this adds variety to a position many consider to dull to bring pleasure.

All in all, the missionary position feels so natural and erotic that it could never become obsolete.
Want to learn even more awesome positions to drive both her and you wild?

About The Author: Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. Learn how to seduce women now. Go to: http://www.what-women-want.com/

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Soulmate Connection

by: Robert Johannsen
We know there are magical signs once we meet our soulmates face to face. Expect it to be not ordinary. Imagine a fairy-tale coming alive. Most certainly, there would be sparks flying, butterflies in the stomach, stuttered sentences, ease of communication, physical attractions, love-at-first-sights, answered prayers, love remembered from dreams; in other words, a soulmate connection.

At first, the connection may be quite dream-like and a little too overwhelming until it turns into a vague familiarity. It may also be intense there may be no words to describe it perfectly. Details of soulmate connections can every so often overpower love itself. It’s spirit-lifting. It’s addictive. It’s without doubt a “connection” between two hearts. It’s beyond anything you have experienced.

Meeting your soulmate at this time and age is a rare gift, one who’s interested needs to plumb the depths of all possibilities, if not, just wait for it to happen. But for some, waiting can be as dreadful as searching without finding the “right one”. So might as well go for it and enjoy every second of your “finding your soulmate expedition”. At least, you will not tell yourself you did not try.

Romance novels and studies on “finding your soulmate” have it all- the unbelievable peaks and lows people go through just to meet their soulmates. And their stories have all one thing to say- once they have met their soulmates, it was as if they have known and loved each other before. And they can’t wait to spend their lives with each other forever.

With all these far-fetched concepts about soulmate connection, who then do you think wouldn’t do anything for love? If it’s that heavenly perfect, anyone will surely risk anything just to experience it. How about you? How far would you go for love?

It’s every girl’s dream for sure – to meet her soulmate and experience a soulmate connection. Because if the feeling is euphoric, why not? If meeting your soulmate is all you think of and soulmate connection has captured your creative imagination and loving heart, it becomes hard-wired into your brain. It’s all you’re going to think of and focus on.

The best thing about finding your soulmate is that you will love with a pure heart and with the cleanest intention to give your all to that one special person.

Robert Johannsen MA is a psychology and freelance author living in British Columbia. Robert's articles on Psychology, Relationships and Popular Culture have been published in numerous magazines in Canada, the US and the UK. His popular Ebook, Proven Secrets for Attracting your Soulmate has helped people from all walks of life find that special someone since 2000.

Visit his recently updated website,

http://www.soulmate-secrets.com for a free chapter of his powerful book.

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Sex, Love and Poly-Behavioral Addiction

by: James Slobodzien

Experts in the field of addictions are presently purporting that between 3 and 6 percent of the world’s population (193 to 386 million people) are presently affected by a sexual dependency or compulsivity (Carnes, 2005). Sexual dependency is a diagnosable and treatable disease, which today is generally, regarded in about the same way that alcoholism and drug addiction (chemical dependency) was regarded 40 years ago. Even so, there still exists a wide range of understandable misunderstandings about compulsive sexual acting out, created out of ignorance about the nature of sexual addiction, and supported and perpetuated by the multibillion dollar pornography industry.

Sexual Dependency - is a global term that covers a wide range of maladaptive and self-defeating behavior patterns and relationships such as:

1. Love Addiction – a disorder in which individuals repeatedly become involved in enmeshed, intense, codependent relationships, even when those relationships or partners are destructive;

2. Romance Addiction - a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with the intrigue and the pursuit of romance and thrive on the thrill of the chase, but find it impossible to sustain a committed, intimate relationship with another person;

3. Sexual Anorexia – a disorder in which individuals become dominated and obsessed with the emotional, physical, and mental task of avoiding sex; and

4. Sex Addiction – a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with sexually-related, compulsive self-defeating maladaptive behavior.

But can one really be addicted to love as the popular 80’s song proclaims? In a recent research study, (Aron, A. 2005) published in the June issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers used functional MRI to watch the real-time brain activity of 17 college students (10 women, seven men), all of whom were in the early weeks or months of new love. These researchers concluded that, love may vie for the same real estate in the brain as drug addiction.
“Early love, rooted as it is in the caudate nucleus, is all about addiction.” "It is a drug addiction." "It's certainly got some of the main characteristics of drug addiction -- as with drugs, once you fall in love you need that person more and more, so much so that, after a while, you have to marry them. There are other things, too -- real dependence, personality changes, withdrawal symptoms." “And just like the need for cocaine or heroin, love can make people do crazy, sometimes dangerous things.” According to Aron (2005), the findings help explain instances where people fall in love with people they aren’t even sexually attracted to; or why others can feel equally strong, sudden emotion for a newborn child or even God.

So does this mean that all people who are newly in love have an addiction? Are all men who look at pornography addicted? Are all women who read romance novels addicted? Are all people who avoid sex considered sexual anorexics? No, no, no, and no. Then how can we differentiate between addiction and healthy relationships? Like other forms of addictive diseases and lifestyle disorders such as chemical dependency, pathological gambling, eating disorders, and religious addiction -

Sexual dependency is characterized by an addictive cycle of:

1. Obsession or preoccupation;

2. Ritualization;

3. Compulsive behaviors;

4. Loss of control and despair; and

5. Shame and guilt that perpetuates a maladaptive belief system of impaired thinking and unmanageability.

Typically, sexual addictive patterns are considered pathological problems when issues concerning sexual behaviors become the focus of life, causing feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment with related symptoms of depression and anxiety that cause significant maladaptive social and/ or occupational impairment in functioning. Addicts don’t use sex for affection or recreation, but for the management of anxiety and/ or emotional pain.

We must consider that some people develop dependencies on certain life-functioning activities such as sex that can be just as life threatening as drug addiction and just as socially and psychologically damaging as alcoholism.

Sexual addiction takes many forms with various levels of severity to include:

1. Controversial behaviors (obsessions with pornography, and sex with strangers to engaging in cyber-sex);

2. Unacceptable behaviors (exhibitionism, voyeurism, indecent phone calls); and

3. Profound Sex offender behaviors (rape, incest, and child molestation).

Though solitary forms of this addiction may not be overtly risky, they can be part of a pattern of distorted thinking and identity conflict that can escalate to involve harming the self and others. An example of a Sexual Disorder (NOS) or Not Otherwise Specified in the DSM-IV-TR, (2000) includes: distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by an individual only as things to be used. (It should be noted that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has never used the word “addiction” to describe any of its disorders).

The defining elements of this kind of addiction are its secrecy and escalating nature, often resulting in diminished judgment and self-control.


Brief History of Sex Addiction

In 1976, a suburban hospital administrator asked Dr. Patrick Carnes to start an experimental program for chemically dependent families. The theoretical constructs of the program originated in general systems theory, especially as it applied to families and the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. One of the many factors which stood out from a family perspective was that the addictive compulsivity had many forms other than alcohol and drug abuse including overeating, gambling, shoplifting, and sexuality. Members of groups like Overeaters Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous had already pioneered in applying the 12-steps to other addictions so the Family Renewal Center extended its programming based on the 12-steps, to sexual addiction.

In 1983, Dr. Patrick Carnes formally introduced the concept of sexual addiction to the world in a text entitled “Out of the Shadows.” Since then the field of sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior has developed dramatically. Terms such as addiction, compulsivity, hyper-sexuality, and “Don Juanism,” all have been used to describe what generically could be called "out of control sexual behavior." Regardless of its name, clinicians from all fields agree that a syndrome exists in which individuals have a sense that they have lost control over their sexual behavior.

According to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), sexual addiction is a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others. The fundamental nature of all addiction is the addicts' experience of helplessness and powerlessness over an obsessive-compulsive behavior, resulting in their lives becoming unmanageable. The addict may be out of control. They may experience extreme emotional pain and shame. They may repeatedly fail to control their behavior. They may suffer one or more of the following consequences of an unmanageable lifestyle: a deterioration of some or all supportive relationships; difficulties with work, financial troubles; and physical, mental, and/ or emotional exhaustion which sometimes leads to psychiatric problems and hospitalization. Addictions tend to arise from the same backgrounds: families with co-dependency including multiple addictions; lack of effective parenting; and other forms of physical, emotional and sexual trauma in childhood.

The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH, 2005) report that the symptoms of sexual compulsivity often accompany other addictive behaviors:

Alcohol and Drug Addiction – Alcohol and drugs alter libido, enhancing it early in drug addiction and inhibiting it later. There is a pattern in cocaine addiction of selling sexual favors for cocaine. As the cost of drug addiction increases, the drug addict usually can't afford the drug from ordinary job income, and must resort to (either/or) stealing, drug dealing or prostitution to support their habit. Alcohol and many drugs cause blackouts or amnesia during the drug using experience, and if sex is coupled with that drug using experience then the details of the sexual experience may not be remembered.

Food Addiction - Sexual anorexia or pathological self-denial of healthy sex is a frequent accompaniment of overeating and anorexia nervosa.

Pathological Gambling - The lifestyle of the gambler often includes hyper-sexuality, where both compulsions feed the false sense of self-esteem of the addict.

Religious Addiction - Compulsive religiosity sometimes accompanies sexual addiction as the sex addict is seeking religion to lessen guilt and shame. The beginnings of compulsive religiosity may signal the onset of a period of sexual anorexia.

Multiple Addictions

Since it is impossible to expect treatment for one addiction to be beneficial when other addictions co-exist, the initial therapeutic intervention for any addiction needs to include an assessment for other addictions. National surveys revealed that a very high correlation exists between sexual addiction and other substance abuse and behavioral addictions. Sexual addicts who have reported experiencing multiple addictions include sexual addiction and:

§ Chemical dependency (42%)

§ Eating disorder (38%)

§ Compulsive working (28%)

§ Compulsive spending (26%)

§ Compulsive gambling (5%)


Poor Prognosis

We have come to realize today more than any other time in history that the treatment of lifestyle diseases and addictions are often a difficult and frustrating task for all concerned. Repeated failures abound with all of the addictions, even with utilizing the most effective treatment strategies. But why do 47% of patients treated in private addiction treatment programs (for example) relapse within the first year following treatment (Gorski, T., 2001)? Have addiction specialists become conditioned to accept failure as the norm? There are many reasons for this poor prognosis. Some would proclaim that addictions are psychosomatically- induced and maintained in a semi-balanced force field of driving and restraining multidimensional forces. Others would say that failures are due simply to a lack of self-motivation or will power. Most would agree that lifestyle behavioral addictions are serious health risks that deserve our attention, but could it possibly be that patients with multiple addictions are being under diagnosed (with a single dependence) simply due to a lack of diagnostic tools and resources that are incapable of resolving the complexity of assessing and treating a patient with multiple addictions?


Diagnostic Delineation

Thus far, the DSM-IV-TR has not delineated a diagnosis for the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions. It has reserved the Poly-substance Dependence diagnosis for a person who is repeatedly using at least three groups of substances during the same 12-month period, but the criteria for this diagnosis do not involve any behavioral addiction symptoms. In the Psychological Factors Affecting Medical Condition’s section (DSM-IV-TR, 2000); maladaptive health behaviors (e.g., unsafe sexual practices, excessive alcohol, drug use, and over eating, etc.) may be listed on Axis I, only if they are significantly affecting the course of treatment of a medical or mental condition.

Since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning, it is no wonder that repeated rehabilitation failures and low success rates are the norm instead of the exception in the addictions field, when the latest DSM-IV-TR does not even include a diagnosis for multiple addictive behavioral disorders. Treatment clinics need to have a treatment planning system and referral network that is equipped to thoroughly assess multiple addictive and mental health disorders and related treatment needs and comprehensively provide education/ awareness, prevention strategy groups, and/ or specific addictions treatment services for individuals diagnosed with multiple addictions. Written treatment goals and objectives should be specified for each separate addiction and dimension of an individuals’ life, and the desired performance outcome or completion criteria should be specifically stated, behaviorally based (a visible activity), and measurable.


New Proposed Diagnosis

To assist in resolving the limited DSM-IV-TRs’ diagnostic capability, a multidimensional diagnosis of “Poly-behavioral Addiction,” is proposed for more accurate diagnosis leading to more effective treatment planning. This diagnosis encompasses the broadest category of addictive disorders that would include an individual manifesting a combination of substance abuse addictions, and other obsessively-compulsive behavioral addictive behavioral patterns to pathological gambling, religion, and/ or sex / pornography, etc.).
Behavioral addictions are just as damaging - psychologically and socially as alcohol and drug abuse. They are comparative to other life-style diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease in their behavioral manifestations, their etiologies, and their resistance to treatments. They are progressive disorders that involve obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. They are also characterized by a preoccupation with a continuous or periodic loss of control, and continuous irrational behavior in spite of adverse consequences.

Poly-behavioral addiction would be described as a state of periodic or chronic physical, mental, emotional, cultural, sexual and/ or spiritual/ religious intoxication. These various types of intoxication are produced by repeated obsessive thoughts and compulsive practices involved in pathological relationships to any mood-altering substance, person, organization, belief system, and/ or activity. The individual has an overpowering desire, need or compulsion with the presence of a tendency to intensify their adherence to these practices, and evidence of phenomena of tolerance, abstinence and withdrawal, in which there is always physical and/ or psychic dependence on the effects of this pathological relationship.
In addition, there is a 12 - month period in which an individual is pathologically involved with three or more behavioral and/ or substance use addictions simultaneously, but the criteria are not met for dependence for any one addiction in particular (Slobodzien, J., 2005). In essence, Poly-behavioral addiction is the synergistically integrated chronic dependence on multiple physiologically addictive substances and behaviors (e.g., using/ abusing substances - nicotine, alcohol, & drugs, and/or acting impulsively or obsessively compulsive in regards to gambling, food binging, sex, and/ or religion, etc.) simultaneously.


Conclusion

Considering the wide range of sexual behaviors in our world today, one should always take into account an individual’s ethnic, cultural, religious, and social background prior to making any clinical judgments, and it would be wise to not over-pathologize in this area of Sexual Dependency. However, since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning - poly-behavioral addiction needs to be identified to effectively treat the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions.

Since chronic lifestyle diseases and disorders such as diabetes, hypertension, alcoholism, drug and behavioral addictions cannot be cured, but only managed - how should we effectively manage poly-behavioral addiction?

The Addiction Recovery Measurement System (ARMS) is proposed utilizing a multidimensional integrative assessment, treatment planning, treatment progress, and treatment outcome measurement tracking system that facilitates rapid and accurate recognition and evaluation of an individual’s comprehensive life-functioning progress dimensions. The ARMS hypothesis purports that there is a multidimensional synergistically negative resistance that individual’s develop to any one form of treatment to a single dimension of their lives, because the effects of an individual’s addiction have dynamically interacted multi-dimensionally. Having the primary focus on one dimension is insufficient.
Traditionally, addiction treatment programs have failed to accommodate for the multidimensional synergistically negative effects of an individual having multiple addictions, (e.g. nicotine, alcohol, and obesity, etc.). Behavioral addictions interact negatively with each other and with strategies to improve overall functioning. They tend to encourage the use of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs, help increase violence, decrease functional capacity, and promote social isolation. Most treatment theories today involve assessing other dimensions to identify dual diagnosis or co-morbidity diagnoses, or to assess contributing factors that may play a role in the individual’s primary addiction. The ARMS’ theory proclaims that a multidimensional treatment plan must be devised addressing the possible multiple addictions identified for each one of an individual’s life dimensions in addition to developing specific goals and objectives for each dimension.

Partnerships and coordination among service providers, government departments, and community organizations in providing addiction treatment programs are a necessity in addressing the multi-task solution to poly-behavioral addiction. I encourage you to support the addiction programs in America, and hope that the (ARMS) resources can assist you to personally fight the War on poly-behavioral addiction.

For more info see:
Poly-Behavioral Addiction and the Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS)
By James Slobodzien, Psy.D. CSAC at:
http://www.geocities.com/drslbdzn/Behavioral_Addictions.html

National Council on Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity
P.O. Box 725544
Atlanta, GA 31139
(770) 541-9912
Sexual Addiction Resources
http://www.sexhelp.com

James Slobodzien, Psy.D. CSAC, is a Hawaii licensed psychologist and certified substance abuse counselor who earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology. The National Registry of Health Service Providers in Psychology credentials Dr. Slobodzien. He has over 20-years of mental health experience primarily working in the fields of alcohol/ substance abuse and behavioral addictions in medical, correctional, and judicial settings. He is an adjunct professor of Psychology and also maintains a private practice as a mental health consultant.

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Carnes, P.J. (1991). Don't Call it Love. Minneapolis, MN: Gentle Press Publishing.

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Delmonico, D.L. (1997). Internet Sex Screening Test. [Online]. Available at: http://www.sexhelp.com

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Publications. Retrieved June 20, 2005, from: www.tgorski.com

Lienard, J. & Vamecq, J. (2004), Presse Med, Oct 23;33(18 Suppl):33-40.

Marlatt, G. A. (1985). Relapse prevention: Theoretical rationale and overview of the model. In G. A.

Marlatt & J. R. Gordon (Eds.), Relapse prevention (pp. 250-280). New York: Guilford Press.

Schneider, J.P. (1994). Sex addiction: Controversy within mainstream addiction medicine, diagnosis based on the DSV-III-R and physician case histories. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: Journal of Treatment and Prevention, 1(1), 19-44.

Slobodzien, J. (2005). Poly-behavioral Addiction and the Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS), Booklocker.com, Inc., p. 5.

James Slobodzien, Psy.D., CSAC, is a Hawaii licensed psychologist and certified substance abuse counselor who earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology. The National Registry of Health Service Providers in Psychology credentials Dr. Slobodzien. He has over 20-years of mental health experience primarily working in the fields of alcohol/ substance abuse and behavioral addictions in medical, correctional, and judicial settings. He is an adjunct professor of Psychology and also maintains a private practice as a mental health consultant.

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Do You Love Yourself?

by: Rick Valens

Always feeling insecurity over your love relationship? So much so to the extent of even feeling suspicious, doubting your partner’s love for you? Well though it might not exactly always be your fault but still I must say, this is the beginning of a very unhealthy relationship. In the long run, it might even lead to an end of the relationship.

I should believe that you are having such thoughts because you really cherish this relationship? But well, perhaps cherishing it just a bit too much? Think about it, how would you feel if things were the other way round? Would you like it if your partner were to doubt your love for them instead? Always calling on you to find out where you are, whom you are with, what you are doing? Believe me, nobody like that. It is only negative and more negative feedbacks that I have got from friends that are having such encounters.

Some, who simply cannot stand it, initiated a break off.

Remember, trust between partners is one of the key criteria to a happy and fulfilling relationship. Without it, an ever-lasting relationship would never be possible.

But first of all, before we can built up this mutual trust, that is one very important thing you must achieve and that is, to trust yourself! If you don’t even trust yourself, how can you expect others, your very love to trust you? To have faith in the relationship?

You must believe in yourself, believing that there is this very special you within yourself. A very special you that make you well liked by friends and family, which of course also include your very love, loving this very special and unique you.

Everybody is unique in his or her very own way. That can only be one you and no more else in this world. Your friends and family like you for who you are. Your love, loves you for who you are. So when everyone genuine likes you, how can you yourself, don’t like yourself as who you are? Doubting your very own self? I don’t suppose you wanna lose your friends and that special someone whom you truly love?

Look into the mirror today and tell yourself, “You are great! I love you!” Yes, when you love yourself, you will naturally have this feel of confidence bringing out that very radiance in you. When you yourself are happy, others will naturally feel happy when being with you.

Remember, love is always a two-way communication. It takes two, a happy you and a happy him or her to complete the equation.

Rick Valens

Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com, Love Relationship Discussion ForumCurrently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org, Monument of Eternal Memory.

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Having Sex or Making Love

by: Caterina Christakos

Actually, the difference between the two concepts is bigger than some of us would like it to be. And, as almost every time, women feel it the most. What is the difference? Well, love. Women need to be protected, looked after and loved as much in bed as in every day life.

Keep in mind that this is not just a legend used by women to manipulate men. The difference between having sex and making love, together with it's implications in a couple's sex life is what many men forget when sharing the bed-sheets with a woman.

Clearly, everything written so far will not apply to one-night-stands. In those cases it is all about a sexual intercourse between two people who only share their bodies. After the bottom line has been drawn, most men feel good about themselves after a one-night-stand, without thinking about their sexual performance. Totally pleasing a woman from the very first time is no easy job as the only mystery she had disclosed is her body.

Yet, most men are attracted to one-night-stands or, with other words, to having sex. The lack of commitment needed and the easy attaining of the main goal: feeling good, are just two reasons pleading in favor of having sex.

On the other hand there is so much more between a man and a woman making love. There are feelings and emotions, leading to a totally different connection between the two of them. More than that, for women, one of the most important things during sex is the environment. And this means everything from location to those few candles some like to place around the bed.

Let's take them in turn a little bit. If you want to leave her smiling and begging for a cigarette and some more there are some things you might like to take into consideration. Trying dad's old car's rear suspension will make the car happier than her. The ideal location would certainly be a bed in a nice and cozy room with nothing interfering with the moment. Someone knocking on the door or even a ringing phone can have very undesirable effects. Some candle-like lights and easy-listening music in the background adds even more to the overall foreplay.

Explore every inch of her body and draw imaginary contours with your fingers and tongue, kiss her neck, breasts, belly and legs, all in a specific order surrounding the most important area and closing in at the same time. All this will increase the tension and when that moment comes both you and her will feel the difference.

Communication is essential for great results. Men must pay attention to the unspoken signs every woman gives them. Ignoring these signs will make women feel used. The old legend that says that when a woman says "no" she actually means "yes" is nothing more than a poor excuse so keep your ears open for her desires.

If all goes well, you might be given the supreme sexual command and that's "don't stop!" When you hear that, whatever you do, DON'T STOP!

About The Author:
Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. Learn what really turns women on at: http://www.what-women-want.com

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Honesty: The Key to a Good Relationship?

by: Susan Dunn

A coaching client recently told me, "I'm convinced if two people are totally honest, they can be married." As a dating coach for midlifers, I hear from a lot of folks who are dating. I also stay current with the dating scene on the Internet, and read the profiles people write. Men often say that "honesty" is crucial for a relationship, while women rarely do. Let's take a look at this.

First I'm going to speculate as to why men say this and women don't, and then I want to talk about the place of honesty in a relationship.

As we know from research, and such books as "If Men Could Talk: Unlocking the Secret Language of Men,"(http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0316178683/susandunnmome-20), by Alon Gratch, Ph.D., men, as a rule, have more trouble verbalizing emotions, something most of us would also agree is crucial to an intimate relationship. Not that we need to talk about emotions all the time, but that it's necessary to know what you feel and to be able to communicate it when necessary. It becomes particularly important when the relationship meets an impasse. You need to what the problem really is. Are you picking on her about her outfit because you haven't had sex in 4 days? Are you accusing him of ignoring you all the time, when really he does a fair job most of the time, but tonight you're hungry and tired?

According to Emotional Intelligence research, men and women test the same overall, but men, on average, are not as empathic as women (Reuven BarOn). Simon-Baron, Cambridge professor of psychology and psychiatry agrees. His thesis in "The Essential Difference: The Truth About the Male and Female Brain," is: "The female brain is predominantly hard-wired for empathy. The male brain is predominantly hard-wired for understanding and building systems."

Of course the "average" man, statistically speaking, is not necessarily the individual sitting in front of you. But where there's smoke there's fire.

So why the male emphasis on "honesty"? And are they referring to honesty about thoughts, feelings, facts, or what? If what we're being honest about is "the truth," how we feel is indisputable, and many facts are, but the truth of any given situation is relative, most of us would agree,or our relationships would not become the imbroglios they do

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith does a great job or portraying marriage, and beings with him saying they've been married 5 years, and her saying "6". If there's an absolute truth ("reality"), it's of little use in human relations.

Men engage more in what's called "selective remembering."

He remembers the games he won, not the games he lost. He remembers when to change the oil in the car, but not his girl-friend's birthday. Selective listening may be part of it. He hears that the prime rate has gone down, but not that you'd like more time with him. I couldn't help wonder if this client would hear "honesty" if it were given.

"Honesty", I think, is a systems-word. Women, in their profiles, are more likely to focus on behaviors. "No philanderers," they say, and "no addicts." You see the difference . if he's unfaithful and honest about it , they're still not interested. Doh.

Women use language to connect, and are more hard-wired for emotion. They enjoy experiencing it and talking about it, while men consider emotions a call to discharge by action. They are not as likely to use a verbal strategy to deal with a feeling.

Women have a larger corpus callosum, so it's easier for us to talk about emotions. TALKING about a FEELING is multi-tasking, and one of the hardest things we ask our brains to do.

Women also say thousands more words a day than men do. Testosterone causes silence. Men talk about facts and want clarity and brevity. Women also, according to Reuven Bar-on, have a greater sense of social responsibility. Does this preclude honesty? When we meet for lunch, we greet each other as Nancy, and Kelly, and Meg. Men? Fatso, and Stupid and Loser. Are men being more "honest"? If so, are they being less socially responsible, i.e., not caring if they hurt the other guy's feelings? I can't imagine a man's feelings being hurt by that, yet no woman would greet another woman with Big Butt, Drama Queen, or Boobless Wonder, though they might think it.

Would being 100% honest insure the survival of a relationship? No. The person might be "honest" about the fact that they could not live with you any more and were filing for divorce. Do men say this because they're attempting to systemize, with rules? Or because they've found women to be "dishonest"?

I've heard more than one man say, "I don't know why she left me. I thought we had a perfect marriage. (Women divorce men more often than vice versa.) Variations include, "She was deceptive. I didn't know anything was wrong," and "She told me why she was leaving, but it doesn't make any sense." A plea for "honesty" might be a plea for comprehensibility.

A female client told me she told her man, "I love but, you I don't like you right now." He said she was being dishonest, "because you can't be both at once". It didn't fit his system or either/or. Honesty, I think, or the reporting of it, requires clear, logical thinking. Who's clear and logical when fighting with a lover? Or listening to one?

If you're a man, are you listening, as in hearing? This means hearing the feelings, not assessing the facts. If you're a woman, are you being clear? Women tend to know sooner when a relationship is headed for trouble and attempt to address it. If you're a man, are you hearing this as "being told what to do"?

I think this plea from men for honesty is a wish to be able to understand the woman they love (and themselves in the relationship). They want facts and clarity. However, to understand others, you must first understand yourself, and this means feelings. Honesty, alas, begins at home.

As a concept that I believe is both unachievable and potentially destructive, I tend to agree with Graham Greene: "The truth has never been of any real value to any human being - it is a symbol for mathematicians and philosophers to pursue. In human relations, kindness and lies are worth a thousands truths." It is nearly impossible for me to outright lie, about either a fact or a feeling, but I will at times do what the Arabs propose: "It is good to know the truth, but it is better to speak of palm trees." Discretion is the better part of valor.

There's something else to consider about being honest:

Whether it's true or not, it's true. As John Lilly said, "In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true."

Now, what about total honesty between two people?

Kindness may be of more value. Honesty should not be used as the weapon it can be. One of the cruelest things we can do is to use an intimate revelation against the person who said it. We know how to hurt the people we love. It's part of our obligation as a decent human beings not to do this. "Better a lie that heals than a truth that wounds," say the Czechs.

Should you be honest about your feelings? Yes . but. Let's say he wants sex and you don't. It's one thing to say, "I don't feel like it now. I had a terrible day at work," and even possible to say, "Not until you've taken a shower and put on some deodorant." But to say, "No, you're the worst lover I've ever had, and like you were saying about your ex-wife the other night ." That sort of "honesty" is inexcusable, and, if not true, soon will be.

There's no easy solution to this. I researched the world's proverbs on this subject we all struggle with. Most were in the vein of "Whoever tells the truth is chased out of nine villages." (African). The Corsicans stood out: "He who tells the truth will never be unhappy," they say. Maybe the answer lies in the Arab proverb: "When you shoot an arrow of truth, dip its point in honey."

An intimate relationship isn't a system, it's a dance, and the music is emotions. Developing your EQ is essential, so you can learn to know, manage and express your emotions better, and to practice the competency of forgiveness, which will always be needed.

Sometimes the most honest thing you can say is, "I don't know what to say now," and the most helpful thing you can say is, "I love you." And keep in mind, to paraphrase Thomas Leonard, we're all doing our very best, even when clearly we're not.

Not what are you going to say, honestly, to your loved one when she says, "Does my butt look fat in these pants?" and when he says, "Am I a good lover?" You can always got to a feeing, and here are some: I feel uncomfortable when you ask me that.

I'm wondering why you ask.

I love you.

Let's talk about what you're really wanting to know.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. We coach and train EQ coaches internationally. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program, arranged to fit your schedule. Coaching is the ideal profession. Email for FREE EQ ezine.

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You may be in love if …

by: Jan Michaels

One of the most common human experiences that two or more (depending on how ambitious you are) people can share is love. But, it’s not always easy to tell if you are in “like”, “lust” or full blown, forever loving. With that in mind, I’ve created this list of signs that you may be crazy in love!

1. If you’ve ever stared deeply into the eyes of your significant other for more than 10 seconds without cracking up hysterically … you may be in love.

2. If every person in your life tells you that she/he’s no good and you’re mailman, pharmacist and local news station agrees, yet you think they are “just jealous” … you may be in love.

3. Guys: if you’ve taken the pictures of the other women in you’re life off the walls, like the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition posters, Playmate of the month calendar, Monster Truck Rally 2005 … you may be in love.

4. Ladies: men can produce excessive amounts of eye watering, nose burning noxious odor from almost any food or drink, and then aren’t above sharing it with others, especially at night. Knowing all this, and you STILL want to sleep in the same bed with him … you may be in love.

5. If your significant other asks you how they look in their new retro polyester lime green outfit and you say they look hot … you may be in love…. or you have a really strong self preservation instinct.

6. Guys: if you’ve ever given up washing and waxing that new car you just bought to watch “Sleepless in Seattle” with you’re girlfriend/wife for the 20th time … you may be in love.

7. If you always remember every anniversary and birthday of your partner, and you’re not female … you may be in love.

8. If you think the underwear and socks you get for your birthday and Christmas every year is a pleasant surprise … you may be in love.

9. If you thought the Sears Tool Set and rolling cabinet you got for your birthday was great idea, and you’re not male ... you may be in love.

10. If you are taken to Burger King for a romantic dinner, and that doesn’t bother you … you may be in love.

11. If you notice your local florist starts arriving at work in a limo since you became a customer ... you may be in love

12. If hearing "Honey, wheres my clean underwear?" brings tears of joy to your eyes ... you may be in love

But the easiest way to tell if you are in love is this: If there is no one on this planet that you would rather spend everyday of your life with than the one you are with … then you ARE in love!

Jan Michaels is a self-described relationship expert (why is his girlfriend laughing?) that is truly in love. When not writing amusing articles, he doesn't do much of anything really important, unless feeding the cat counts.

You can see more of his musings or various and sundry humorous items at: http://www.brunkco.com
Or, you may contact him at: hiredgun@brunkco.com

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The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

by: David Steele

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther, because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A. they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well)

B. more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.


So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction — such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants — they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong, leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being.

But when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

"For gay men especially in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men want to find out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?"

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing."

I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, goals and requirements — while feeling all those exciting sparks!

About The Author:
David Steele, MA, is the founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute and a pioneer in working with singles. He has helped thousands of singles and couples get what they want from relationships. His new book, Conscious Dating; Finding the Love of Your Life in Today’s World, readers precisely how to get what they want in their own life. To learn more, visit http://www.consciousdating.com/

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Mahogany's Beauty and Durability Makes it Ideal

by: Mark Donovan

A couple of years ago I had the chance to tour several newly constructed Adirondack homes. One of the areas that particularly stood out for me while touring these homes were the decks. All used Mahogany lumber for both the decking and the railing systems. The red color and the general beauty of the Mahogany wood was unique to anything I had ever seen before in decking material.

After completing my home tours I went out and researched Mahogany further. First, there are several species and colors of Mahogany, supplied by various countries around the world. Not all are the same, however. It is the species known as American Mahogany that has the rich red color that I had observed. American Mahogany comes from the West Indies, Mexico, and Central and South America. It is generally viewed as a harder wood that is extremely durable and resistance to moisture and insects. Also, because it is a hard wood it has a tendancy to not split, twist or check. So be sure to ask about the species, prior to buying Mahogany. Note however, Mahogany is a little more expensive than pressure treated decking and railing systems, however it is well worth it in terms of quality, looks and durabilty.

Since discovering and researching Mahogany, I have built two deck systems using this material. As I had indicated earlier, it is a hard material that as a result, requires a little more effort in its installation.


Fastening the Material


First, use stainless steel nails or screws on both the decking and railing systems, as other types will not penetrate this material very well. My preference was the stainless steel nails, however pre-drilling holes is mandatory if not using a nail gun. Even with stainless steel nails, they will bend trying to simply nail them into the wood. I found that with the stainless steel hex head screws that they chewed the wood going in and left somewhat of a ragged finish on the surface of the wood.

Second, when installing the decking material, I found it aesthetically most attractive to create a frame on the outside perimeter of the deck surface using long Mahogany boards. Once the outer frame is installed, the main Mahogany decking boards can be simply installed within this outer framework. The result is a cleaner line when viewed from a distance or standing on the deck itself.

Regarding the Railing system, screws and bolts should be used exclusively as the material use in this part of the deck is typically thicker and requires more rigidity.


Painting, Staining or Sealing


Mahogany takes paint and stain well, however I have preferred to apply a clear sealer. The clear sealer enables the natural red color of the Mahogany to shine through, while still providing a layer of protection from the environement. Typically I re-apply the clear sealer every year to continue to preserve the color. If you do not, the Mahogany will bleach out.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Me_Donovan@comcast.net
http://www.homeadditionplus.com/
Over the past 20+ years Mr. Donovan has been involved with building homes and home additions. Mr. Donovan's formal education & profession have been as an Electrical Engineer & Marketing Manager.

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Hyaluronic Acid - Beauty Wave of the Future?

by: Jana Willinger

In our continuing search for the fountain of youth, there is a new weapon. Hyaluronic acid (HA), a key component of human tissue, aiding the body’s flexibility, mobility and moisture retention, is emerging as a key ingredient in many anti-aging beauty products and as a viable alternative to collagen and related substances in injection procedures. As we age, the Hyaluronic acid levels in our body decrease, contributing to the appearance of wrinkles, fine lines and dryness in the skin. Hyaluronic acid beauty products and injections can decrease the appearance of lines and wrinkles by replenishing the body’s natural supply of Hyaluronic acid and/or by stimulating the body to rejuvenate its own supply of HA.

Among the exciting new developments in the world of Hyaluronic acid products is the recent FDA approval of Restylane and Hylaform, facial injections containing Hyaluronic acid. These injections can be administered quickly and with little chance of side effect. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, more people than ever are choosing to forgo invasive plastic surgery for less painful, less time consuming procedures. The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS) predicts that in 2005, Hyaluronic acid (Restylane, Hylaform) will surpass collagen as the most popular soft tissue filler for lines and wrinkles. The Society also predicts that additional Hyaluronic acid products developed specifically for facial volume enhancement and for improvement of depressed scars will be introduced.

Currently, Hyaluronic acid injections are most commonly used around the mouth and on forehead wrinkles and smile lines and to enlarge, moisturize and “plump” lips. The entire injection process takes less than an hour, and requires repeat treatments every four months to a year. Hyaluronic acid treatments are more expensive than those using collagen (a syringe of Restylane or another Hyaluronic acid product might cost up to $500 as compared to around $373 for collagen) but HA injections last longer because they help the skin retain natural moisture. When injected, the filler plumps up the skin by allowing it to attract and hold water. Side effects are much less likely with Hyaluronic acid than with collagen contributing to its attractiveness as an alternative treatment.

The possibilities seem endless for uses of Hyaluronic acid. In Japan, Daikin Industries is even offering an air conditioner that emits Hyaluronic acid from the filter to moisturize skin. There are sure to be even more innovations and future ways to take advantage of Hyaluronic acid’s many health and beauty benefits.

About The Author

Jana Willinger

E-Hyaluronicacid.com is dedicated to promoting an understanding of Hyaluronic acid, a major ingredient in many medical and anti-aging therapies and to highlighting places where you can safely purchase Hyaluronic acid products. For more information go to http://www.E-Hyaluronicacid.com.

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Hyaluronic Acid – Newest Celebrity Beauty Secret?

by: Jana Willinger


We can always count on celebrities to serve as guinea pigs for the latest cosmetic and beauty treatments. During the Botox ™ craze, even director Martin Scorsese commented that he couldn’t find actresses who could frown anymore! Perhaps actors, politicians, musicians and the like all grew tired of looking like Stepford wives because the latest cosmetic craze involves Hyaluronic acid, a key component of human tissue, providing the body with essential moisture and a viable way to erase wrinkles without the loss of facial expression. Hyaluronic acid is available in facial injections reportedly favored by celebrities like Charlie Sheen, Tommy Lee Jones and Oprah Winfrey who have chosen Restylane, a Hyaluronic acid wrinkle-filler that works to lift the lip, wrinkle or fold and create volume. Hyaluronic acid injections do not relax muscles but instead “fill in” areas most affected by wrinkles and fine lines.

There are also several new, non-invasive beauty products that contain Hylauronic acid or work to stimulate the body’s own Hyaluronic acid production. Apparently full lips a la Angelina Jolie are a must-have because celebrities of all ages are going gaga for City Lips, a cutting edge product developed by City Lips Cosmetics. The City Lips product stimulates lips to produce their own collagen and Hyaluronic acid, painlessly increasing the size of lips. According to Karen Rauen, Good Housekeeping Institute’s chemistry director, "The City Lips lip plumper, we found, plumps people's lips an average of three millimeters.” Celebrities like Teri Hatcher, Nicolette Sheridan, Jamie Lynn Discala, Virginia Madsen, Melissa Rivers, Angela Bassett, Lacy Chabert, Lake Bell, Eliza Dushku, Bijou Phillips, Haylie Duff, Kathy Griffin, Tracy Ross, Marlee Matlin, Shannon Elizabeth, Michelle Rodriguez, Faith Evans, Giuliana Depandi, Debbie Matenopoulos and Princess Ann Claire, are reportedly huge fans of City Lip Cosmetics.

There are other Hyaluronic acid boosting “lip plumpers” on the cosmetic market including Lucky Lips which allegedly increases Hyaluronic acid levels by 148% just 48 hours after use. Other celeb Hyaluronic acid beauty favorites include Hydrating Gel Cream from Prada Beauty, a lightweight, sheer cream featuring Hyaluronic acid and Rest-A-Line Face Treatment by Joey New York, an anti-aging cream rich with Hyaluronic acid which helps the skin hold 1000 times its weight in water, causing a natural plumping effect. All in all, between facial injections and non-evasive beauty creams, it seems like there is much hope on the frontier for finding that elusive fountain of youth; for celebrities and for common folk, alike!

About the Author

E-Hyaluronicacid.com is dedicated to promoting an understanding of Hyaluronic acid, a major ingredient in many medical and anti-aging therapies and to highlighting places where you can safely purchase Hyaluronic acid products. For more information go to ttp://www.E-Hyaluronicacid.com

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Essentials of Facial Beauty

by: Kristine Llabres

Beauty regimens are normal for ladies for it is one way of maintaining their vivacity and prettiness. Women tend to apply several creams, lotions and use different soaps and beauty care liquids in order to attain their desired complexion or maintain their very own smooth and silky skin.

At this moment, not only women are meticulous and particular in their skin tone and looks but also men who are conscious of their appearance and how they will carry themselves and interact with other people.

Nowadays, a face pack does not only cleanse your skin and pores but it also helps in maintaining the tautness and balance of your skin. There are different face packs according to your skin type, so choose the one that suits you.

Dry Skin Pack
The dry skin is usually flaky and dull looking around the eyes and cheeks. That is why it needs to be motorized well. Wash your face with milk and oatmeal instead of ordinary soap since the milk moisturizes and nourishes the skin while the oatmeal acts as an exfoliate agent.

To have extra moisturizer, make a pack with a mixture of ten almonds, two spoons oatmeal, four tablespoons of full cream milk, two spoons china clay, juice of half a lemon and one mashed avocado. Apply it gently on your face then leave for twenty minutes. Dampen cotton wool with cold milk and wipe it off. Finally, splash your face with cold water and apply light moisturizer.

Oily Skin Pack
The oily skin has active sebaceous glands that secrete more oil leaving the skin greasy and dull thus it attracts a lot of dirt which then clogs the pores. It definitely needs a thorough cleansing routine to remove the surface grime and unclogged the pores.

You need a pack that rejuvenates, tightens and exfoliates skin. You can mash six strawberries with a teaspoon of Brandy, two spoons of breadcrumbs, two spoons of fuller’s earth and a few drops of rose water. Mix those well then apply a thick layer on the face and neck and leave it for twenty minutes.

Strawberries have Vitamin C and certain acidic properties they leave the skin sparkling clean. The breadcrumbs help to exfoliate dead skin while fuller’s earth will tighten the pores and brandy would help to add some glow.

Combination Pack
With this type of skin, usually the nose and forehead are oily then the eyes and cheeks are dry. Cleanse the center zone with an astringent while dab the rest of the face with cold milk then apply a pack made of half a cup of powered, dry peas mixed with three spoons of curd, juice of one lemon and half a cup of papaya pulp. Apply it then leave again for twenty minutes, after rinse off with cold water. Better still to rub an ice cube dipped in rose water over the T-Zone.

Always see to it that your face is clean, free from harsh chemicals and radiantly white and flawless. Avoid exposure in different pollutants and always be protected against ultraviolet rays. Take a lot of care and be extra beautiful inside-out!

About the Author

For Comments and Questions about the Article you may Log - on to http://www.facialskincareproducts.com

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The World Leader in Botanical Beauty Care Online Store

by: Zdenka Prokop

The online direct selling store owner Zdenka Prokop, Independent Beauty Counselor, has deployed the website www.YvesRocher-Kiotis.com; open 24/7 for sale of Yves Rocher,and Kiotis products with no animal testing. The store with France fragrances and beauty products for skin care and body care, are shipped from Canada and France to Nashville, Tennessee.

Yves Rocher group is the world leader in natural beauty care and a fast-growing online sales channel. The online store www.YvesRocher-Kiotis is opened for all your beauty needs, with 100% natural French cosmetics, a variety of special products, free gifts with purchase, and seasonal promotions. Products are Anti-aging innovations by looking to natural resources: Essential Botanical Oils or DNA Anti-aging hormone complex; and all with 100% satisfaction guarantee.

To reach a higher level in personal Purchases and Recruitments is not a question of luck. It is a question of having the right attitude, the enthusiasm, the dedication, the perseverance, the right technique and "know how," the ability to make a client base grow, to build a team and to keep it active. All this constitutes a great accomplishment. In March 2005, the online store www.yvesrocher-kiotis.com owner, Zdenka Prokop, was ranked as an Independent Beauty Counselor in national level #8 in personal purchases. She left behind over 20,000 counselors. Her online store has for sale many natural beauty products, and can cover your needs for ideas, tips, and advice. She is an example of what it is to be a champion.

For additional information or samples, contact YvesRocher-Kiotis.com Independent Beauty Counselor Zdenka Prokop through her website www.yvesrocher-kiotis.com by e-mail info@yvesrocher-kiotis.com or by phone 1-615-832-0060.

About the Author

Freelance Journalist

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Gold Jewelry: The Ultimate Adornment For Style, Beauty And C

by: Angela Davis

Gold jewelry can never go out of style. It can look good on almost everyone. It is the ultimate amalgamation of classic beauty, wealth and style.

The value of gold jewelry depends not only upon the style or the designer who has designed it, but most importantly it is dependent upon the quality of gold used to make the gold jewelry. The quality of gold in the gold jewelry is determined by its percentage or by the karat. The higher the karat number, the higher the percentage of gold in your gold jewelry. The various karat numbers are 24K, 18K, 14K, 12K and 10K - 24K is pure gold.

Gold jewelry is also available in various forms. In some cases it is plated with gold, in some it is filled with gold and in some others the gold jewelry is made of pure gold. Gold by itself is very soft and isn't practical for daily wear which is why it has to be mixed with other additional metals to give it tensile strength such that it can be molded into various designs. Other metals are mixed with it to make it more durable (and to lower its cost).

Adding other metals to the mix also allows metallurgists to change the color of gold. Palladium or nickel can be added to create white gold. Adding copper produces a rose or pink tint, while silver gives gold a greenish cast. If you want jewelry which can be worn regularly then it is wise to get it made out of solid gold (Solid gold is a term that can be used to describe an item that's at least 10K (in the US) gold all the way through. Even though it's a gold alloy--18K, 14K, or anything down to 10K--it can be called solid gold.).

Gold has in a way always stood as a symbol for wealth, prestige and power. Through times immemorial gold jewelry has been the ultimate ornamentation for kings, queens and noblemen. At one point of time, gold jewelry was also seen as a status symbol and was not meant for the common man. It still is looked upon as a status symbol since not every one can afford gold jewelry. However because of the numerous forms in which gold jewelry is available to day (such as plated gold, gold filled, gold coated jewelry or gold jewelry of a lower karat), it can now be easily bought by anyone.

Gold jewelry does not entail very big or intricate designs, it can even be quite small simple and delicate. How so ever a piece of jewelry maybe, it immediately stands out. There is a timeless classic appeal surrounding it which can never go out of fashion. Gold jewelry is not only something which you can buy for yourself or as a gift to someone you love; you can also buy gold jewelry to keep as an asset. The value of gold jewelry does not depreciate, it only appreciates with time. It can prove to be a very valuable investment.

About the Author:
Looking for information about Jewelry? Go to: http://www.merryjewelry.com 'Merry Jewelry' is published by Angela Davis - The Complete Jewelry Resource Directory Check out more Jewelry articles at: http://www.merryjewelry.com/archive

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Health Is Internal Beauty

by: Tonya Zavasta

Excerpted from the book "Your Right to Be Beautiful: How to Halt the Train of Aging and Meet the Most Beautiful You" by Tonya Zavasta. The book is available at: http://www.beautifulonraw.com

Jean Kerr, American author and playwright wrote: “I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas?”

Jean Kerr was closer to the truth than she might have realized. Every outside organ of the human body is eligible to be called beautiful, but because internal organs are ordinarily seen only by surgeons, they get excluded from the beauty contest. If our internal organs were observed, we would describe them in terms of attractiveness, and normal color and shape would be considered beautiful. You need only compare pictures of normal healthy internal organs with pictures of their infected and diseased counterparts in the medical books to convince yourself that health and beauty are synonymous.

A healthy colon looks like evenly braided muscles. On the other hand, unhealthy colons are deformed: twisted and looped in some parts, ballooned and engorged in others, as revealed by barium X-rays. Visit a colon therapist, if only to observe the pictures of unhealthy colons and see for yourself how ugly one can be on the inside.

The blood of a healthy person is also beautiful. The red blood cells are uniformly round. The blood of a body full of toxins is contaminated with pathological bacteria, abnormal proteins, and parasites. When red blood corpuscles clump together, the condition is called Rouleau or “sticky” blood. Rouleau, this clumpy, unattractive blood, appears 5 to 20 years before symptoms of illness present themselves. It is an early messenger of hundreds of degenerative diseases. Conglomerates of red blood cells cannot access the fine capillaries of the body. Rouleau is particularly damaging to the organs of the head, in particular the eyes, ears, and scalp. A diet high in meat and dairy products increases the stickiness of your platelets. Blood that becomes sticky is a sure precursor of blood clots, strokes, and heart attacks.

The arterial pipelines in a healthy circulatory system are clean and clear from obstructions. In healthy arteries, the inner lining, called the intima, is smooth, supple, and without cracks. A cross-section of a normal coronary artery shows no arterial thickening or blood-blocking plaque deposits.

An unhealthy circulatory system paints an entirely different picture. The middle muscular layer of the artery can no longer fully recoil after a pulse wave has expanded the vessel. Elasticity of the artery walls is reduced, and cracks and hollows appear. They catch calcium, cholesterol deposits, fat accumulations, and clusters of platelets. Cholesterol deposits roughen the inner surfaces and damage the walls of the arteries. At first, plaque build-up does not cause discomfort--it is just ugly. But later, thick, clogged bloodstream results in coronary arteries becoming occluded with fatty buildup, which effects circulation and causes deterioration of the connective tissues. Deterioration and abnormal hardening of the arteries result in a process called arteriosclerosis and may cause heart disease, stroke, and hypertension.

The body often displays real ingenuity faced with substances it cannot metabolize or eliminate. It breaks them down and distributes them to remote areas of the body away from vital organs to minimize harm. The body takes the poisons out-of-the-way but not necessarily out of sight. The toxic wastes are pushed towards the peripheral organs, which happen to be the skin and every other organ that we can see on the outside.

External deformities are direct manifestations of internal pathologies. Ugly ropes of varicose veins, puffy faces, and cellulite are telling tales about your inside condition. Every pimple, psoriasis, or pigment change on your skin is in fact a reflection of some organ struggling to do its job. Every bulge, boil, or swelling is a sign that the body is pushing out some toxins in its effort to protect itself.

The term “natural beauty” has been misused and abused beyond restoration. Because there is no natural beauty without 100% natural food, the beauty that will emerge on the raw food diet I call Rawsome Beauty. Our external beauty is at its best when our internal organs are in the best possible shape, form, and color. Beautiful is not something extra the body needs: to be beautiful both inside and out is the natural state of one’s body.

The vitality of internal organs, working properly, transcends your skin and brings a radiance to your face. This is when beauty does penetrate the skin. So when we admire sparkling eyes, fabulous skin, and lustrous hair, in a way we are admiring the teamwork of a healthy liver, colon, kidneys, etc. How profound the direct meaning of the phrase "beauty comes from within" really is.

Health and beauty are considered to be chronological losses. In my books I will convince you they don’t have to be. It is biologically possible to look beautiful at any age. I intend to prove that beauty is not an accident; beauty is your birthright, it can be yours through the right daily choices, food you put in your mouth being the most important one. You can dramatically improve your appearance and do it 100 percent on your own without expensive products, plastic surgery or costly cosmetics.

"This article may be freely reprinted as long as the entire article and byline are included."

About the Author

Tonya Zavasta is the raw food lifestyle expert, the author of the books Beautiful On Raw: UnCooked Creations and Your Right to Be Beautiful: How to Halt the Train of Aging and Meet the Most Beautiful You, named a 2004 Health Book of the Year Award finalist by ForeWord Magazine. For more information on how to reveal your Rawsome beauty visit her web-site at: http://www.beautifulonraw.com

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Make Time For Beauty

by: Kenia Morales

In today’s hectic World many of us women have little or no time at all to take care of ourselves. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a couple of hours just for yourself? Or simply have a more put together look? Here are some tips that will allow you to make time for your own beauty routine!


  • Schedule the beauty routine in your weekly schedule beforehand; even if you are going to do it at home.

  • Make it a routine and stick to it, for example: I will do my hair and nails every Thursday night.

  • Do you have dry skin and no time for daily moisturizing? Try buying soap for dry skin.

  • Delegate at least one of your chores to your partner or a family member.

  • Cut off your cooking time, and order out or prepare microwave dinner. You can also cook for two days and take the next day for your beauty routine.

  • If you can afford it pay someone to do a portion of your chores.

  • Have all the necessary items for your beauty routine in one place, to avoid wasting time looking for them.

  • Do not take phone calls during your beauty time.

  • Cut off or limit time wasting habits such as TV.

About The Author

Kenia Morales is the publisher of online magazine http://kpatra.com "For Every Aspect of Today's Woman. Visit her site to find a variety of women related issues and topics" click here http://www.kpatra.com/keniascolumn.htm to find Kenia's little piece of heaven her inspirational column keniamorales@kpatra.com

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HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb

by: Tzaf

Why pay £4000.00 for laser hair restoration treatment? HairMax Lasercomb hair loss laser treatment. To re-invigorate, condition and re-vitalise hair.

HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb. Sends nourishing laser light energy into your hair to revitalise it and improve its condition. Your hair will thicken, strengthen and become healthier with better quality. Its that simple!

Light is energy. Living cells ‘like’ light and your hair is no different. The stimulating laser light from HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb reinvigorates your hair to make it thicker and healthier. The end result is that you hair will flourish and you can start to like your hair again!

Just pass the HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb slowly over your scalp for ten minutes three times a week. It may be used by itself or in conjunction with other treatments.

The HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb is an economical way to have thicker, fuller hair. A rugged precision built instrument with a laser module that has an estimated life of 10,000-15,000 hours. By using the HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb 30 minutes per week it should easily last a lifetime. Compare the one time cost of a HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb with ongoing costs for other hair treatments and you’ll see how much more economical it is.

With over 17 years of clinical experience the results seen are both exciting and impressive. Results have shown that both men and women of all ages respond with positive benefits to laser therapy. Customers range in age from 18 to their late 80’s.

User feedback collected to date suggests that more than 90% of HairMax users achieve positive benefits and results. In general about 45% of HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb users see noticeable indications of benefits within the first 6 weeks. Another 45% realise indications from 6-12 weeks. A small group of users take longer to see results with noticeable improvements at around 12 weeks.

What they are saying

“I have been using HairMax Beauty Treatment LaserComb for six months and have noticed a definite improvement. There was a considerable reduction in loss after about a month. And since month three have seen new hairs growing around the front hair line and a noticeable thickening on top” Mr Brown UK

“It definitely works. I am fully satisfied as my hair has got substantially thicker.” Mr H – UK

Product Specification

* Easy to use – Only 10 minutes three times a week for best results

* Complies with strict safety standards

* Convenient home treatment

* Increase the fullness of your own hair naturally – save on transplants and hairpieces

* Improves hair condition

* Attractive ergonomic design with high tech feel

* Designed to fit the hand like a brush

* For both men and women

http://www.livingiseasy.co.uk/search/?search=hairmax
http://www.livingiseasy.co.uk
info@livingiseasy.co.uk
About the Author
Welcome to the world of LIVINGISEASY. Every little contribution you make towards your well being adds up. At Livingiseasy we help you to add life to your years and years to your life. So if its to buy, to browse, share your ideas, check out new products, latest offers and top tips or simply listen to our relaxing theme tune remember Livingiseasy.co.uk

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